David Milliband Again

News from a forein countrie came
As if my treasure and my wealth lay there;
So much it did my heart inflame,
'twos wont to call my soul into mine ear;

And so forth and so on.

It has been some time since this blog touched upon the doings of Her Majesty's Principal Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs, Mr David Milliband, who is 14.

On those occasions when Mr Milliband was mentioned, he was on a 'green' bender. The Prime Minister and others, in so far as they cared at all, were clearly running foreign affairs, and Mr Milliband was in charge of an the destruction of lives, the increase of food prices, and the diversion of water supplies to bio-fuels. And green taxes.

Unfortunately, this all fell through, but not before I found a clip of the hand-puppet 'Sweep' from the Sooty show in which Sweep imagined himself to be 'superdog' and incompetently tried to save the world before ending up rooting around the rubbish bins, presumably recycling.

Shortly after this, Mr Milliband was sent to India to outrage ministers, patronise peasants and look at the backsides of cows, whilst the world burned. The combination of methane and hot air in that peasant hut must have been worth three car factories alone, and no doubt reminded Milliband of cabinet without the bile and sulphur. That time, I managed to find a short film of an aged Otto Bismarck taking a salute.

Today, I found myself thinking about Mr Milliband again. He has stopped, John Moore-like, from being mentioned as a potential Labour leader, except by die-hard idiots, but still has delusions of grandeur.

These at the moment have devolved into calling a palpably failing Home Secretary 'outstanding' whilst defending her husband's private kinematograph activities, and ignoring what would in any other country be the functional equivalent of the embezzlement of hundreds of thousands of pounds from the taxpayers. Mr Milliband clearly still thinks he is a star.

You'd never catch Mrs Mary Honeyball MEP, currently appearing in a remake of the Magic Roundabout with the cast of Fraggle Rock, needing to delude herself like that.

She's a real performer. In Strasbourg, she has made it her business to take over as Labour Leader from Mrs Lenny 'strangler' Wilmott shortly. Mrs Wilmott doesn't know it yet. The devious plans of Fu Manchu have nothing on Mrs Honeyball, who represents Labour and no one else since she was appointed by a party machine to the European Parliament. Her mind never rests.

I wrote too much. Instead, let's return to Milliband; here, as a mental health service, is Sweep the dog imagining himself in the big time, or at least on a variety show in which muppets impersonate big-time stars.

UPDATE: Whilst looking for links for this post, I came across some news from the Strasbourg Parish Council. Apparently, the European Parliament is running a photography competition. Can you think of anyone who could enter and keep Britain's end up? I can. Gosh, with Lord Moonie, Alistair Darling and Nigel Griffiths in it--and its only small inside, really-that must have been one crowded flat!


Anonymous said…
I'm so glad that I don't have to vote in the next election. I'd have to forgo my democratic right and let others decide. I don't think I could bring myself to vote for Dave and the Lib Dems are just so dull. I think I'd just sulk. Here there is no such option as voting is compulsary.

Still, you do have such great personalities to choose from in the Labour Party. I think it's quite right that the taxpayer should pay for the home secretary's husband's porn as it will keep him out of trouble whilst his wife is at her main residence doing her ministerial duty.

To lower the tone slightly, I feel that I should tell you that here in
Australia anyone caught 'rooting'around the rubbish bins would almost certainly not be presumed to be recycling.

Martin Meenagh said…
Advance, Australia Fair.
Anonymous said…
My dear husband has now taken an interest in this silliness. He reckons that you don't realise that 'rooting' is a rude word. How would he? he says. I thought it was obvious. Just in case I have not been understood I should quote a former Australian PM who didn't mince his words. He was talking about a woman that he didn't like too much and who wasn't the best looking woman ever.It caused a bit of a storm at the time, when he remarked that she couldn't get a root on a flagship. The man was Paul Keating. These Irish Australians are so vulgar..but pretty funny.I'm sure I've now clarified the situation,

Martin Meenagh said…
Munich is Munchen
And Paris is Paree
But those are words for foreigners
And not for you and me

Hahahahaa. If he's doing that in the bins he should stop it. Ciceronian as Australian politics is, I'll think I'll stick to our meanings when talking of Miliband's doings....

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