Support Your MEP

Mrs Mary Hilda Rosamund Honeyball MEP (pictured) has finally gone too far. Her Assistant has had enough of the beatings and the relentless, aspidistra-based abuse, and he's walked. Well, I say walked. I'm not surprised. If I was made to carry a special sized laptop on my back, type with a pencil in my teeth whilst holding pot plants, or read my posts obsessively, I'd walk off too.

'Mumbles' was last seen pushing a wheeled truss with his poor, broken arm near the Chocolate Museum in Brussels. Apparently he's in Camp Jungle now, in Calais. He'll sleep again, they say, but not soon. When he disappeared, he was muttering something through his broken teeth to Jacqui Smith's husband. Something big. Something about Glynnis Barber MEP and Harriet Harman.

Anyway, she's after a new assistant to help out in the special school. I strongly encourage my many demented readers to apply. Bring chain mail and a tub of E45, and be prepared to watch her wash her face in a bowl of rice krispies every morning. She swears by it, according to bloggers.

I do owe her. She was, after all, one of the several Labour people who convinced me that I had no place in the Labour Party.

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