Terry Wogan for President of Europe

Mrs Mary Robinson has been put forward as a candidate for the new European Presidency. She used to be President of Ireland. Unfortunately, La Robinson had to leave the office of Uachtarán na hÉireann because of what she no doubt thought of as a better job. Still, she graced the Presidency when she was there, and I see no reason why she couldn't be President of Europe.

She's been at the top; she commands the support of an important American voting bloc, and holds the Presidential medal of Freedom; she has been High Commissioner for Human Rights, had the guts to go to Somalia and make a stand, and is clearly clever enough to deal with the likes of Fine Gael and the Irish Labour Party. And she's been a non-political head of State, which means she understands what a job like President of the European Council is meant to be.

Why, I can't think of any other candidate, other than, say, Terry Wogan, whom I understand is retiring soon, and who has also long been involved in various European and charitable initiatives that have added to the gaiety of Nations. Can you?

Hang on. President Wogan?

My God.

The man and the moment have met; he's just been sacked by the BBC, after all.

Mark my words, it'll be just like when the Americans kicked out Boutros-Boutros Ghali years ago. They'll back Mary Robinson, like they did then, get the support behind her, then switch it behind the scenes so that America-haters could vote for the candidate America could live with in private. Terry's a shoo-in.

He already has a policy platform. Here's Sir Terence upholding the vitality of small ethnic minority communities. That'll go down very well with the human rights crowd, and they're Celts, so it'll get the fascists onside too. He's even waving flowers about in a suspect way, though as far as I can tell that's all you need for a BBC contract. What more do you want in L'Europe Moderne?



UPDATE: Why not send the following form letter to Terry Wogan? He has an address on the international wireless telegraph. I have time on my hands, and if you do too, you could waste it in worse ways;

Dear Terry
Word has reached me that you will be looking for a new job now that the BBC have fired you. So I have nominated you on my blog--a small thing with one demented reader--for President of Europe.

It's made for you. 'The Floral Dance', for instance, showed your concern for small communities, and will play very well in Liege. I also understand that your charitable donation of every surviving copy to the Afghan war caused the immediate surender of at least a fifth of the Taliban--well, that's better than Blair managed. And as for your 'Euro-vision' work, well, we all make mistakes. It makes you more human. Remember Hitler?

Go on, Terry, give it a go. If Arnie can do such a thing in California, you can, and I understand that there is money involved. If that doesn't do it, and I have no reason to believe that it won't, they'll probably throw in a new car to replace that sedan tricycle the BBC send round. You'll need something to keep you going in the winter, after all....


UPDATE TWO: I have just requested a Downing Street Petition, which in due course should be online under the heading 'PresidentWogan'.

UPDATE THREE: The 'e-petitions team' at Downing Street have just rejected the proposal because it was humorous and 'had nothing to do with government policy'. Unlike, say, nominating Tony Blair, a tax exile from Jerusalem, or introducing the Constitutional Reform Bill so that Lord mandelson could have a go at being PM.

Sorry, Terry. betcha would have got more votes than the government did at the last election.

UPDATE FOUR: Just to make the point, the petition was rejected twice--the second time on this ground;
Duplicate - this is similar to and/or overlaps with anexisting petition or petitions

Just how many petitions to make Terry Wogan President are there?

Comments

Martin

Sorry, but I cannot endorse your support for Terry Wogan as EU President. as a fan of Strictly Come Dancing, I see Terry Wogan as the ideal replacement for the woeful Bruce Forsyth, and as important as it is, I suspect that even Strictly Come Dancing would be beneath an EU President.
Martin Meenagh said…
Splitter.

Ah well. Who does that leave? Is Des O'Connor still alive?
DBC Reed said…
Terry Wogan!You jest.This man is absolutely loathed by Europeans for his facetious comments about the Eurovison Song Contest,which he persisted in seeing as a joke,while being given a full licence to air his views by the frivolous Britsh public who found his comments the only thing that made it bearable.He also began complaining about bloc voting
which goes a bit too close to the bone politically ,duplicating a lot of the interest blocs that exist close to the surface .
Terry Wogan has a qualification in banking so this rules him out for being over-qualified.
Martin Meenagh said…
Hi DBC
I'm afraid Terry more or less lost momentum with an adlai-stevenson style treatment of the draft Terry movement on air yesterday morning. So now, attention is turning by all accounts to Dale Winton. He's right up their alley, apparently.
Martin Meenagh said…
And the doctors have lost the keys to Des O'Connor's iron lung, so he is out too.