Al Gore Ties in Hopeless Rigged Election Shock
Some time ago, in a spirit of Christmas charity, I put forward a list of people who could, potentially, be sent to Mars as a poll on this blog. It was my chief aim and cherished hope that Mrs Mary Rosamund Hilda Honeyball MEP, late of this blog, could finally achieve her life's ambition and understand what it felt like to win an election on the basis that people actually got to vote for her. She has been deprived of that feeling since serving in the European Parliament, you see, since members are appointed from a party list that some people in a pub in Streatham vote for.
Anyway, all was set fair for Mary to win until--curses--I had the bright idea of inserting Al Gore into this rigged election.
He's only gone and tied with her. Spoiler. Harold Stassen had classier swansongs.
So now, Gore is going to Mars too. It really is warming, I suppose (unlike Earth), so he will feel happier there.
Blast-off will be a simple matter of raising funds from the Treasury. I propose a rocket powered by surplus printed mickey mouse money and carbon credits. The science of the technology is settled. I'll film it on my mobile telephone, to make it legit, and split the proceeds with any rocket builder who wants to come in with me--the Russian Space Agency, crazier by the day, spring to mind.
On a personal note, no one voted for me to replace that monkey, and the electorate hadn't even met me this time, so they have no excuse. Like Lincoln, I view it as a slip, not a fall. No one voted for President Ahmedinajad either, but he must be used to that feeling by now, and anyway his electorate are too busy shooting students at the moment to come and cast multiple votes on my blog.
*Sigh*. I have about as much chance of getting to Mars as Lagari Celebi. Ah well. Here's a video of the next Governor of California smoking a candy cigarette as though it were a class B drug. Shatner does that, you know.