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Elmo and the Congressmen

Right, I am on holiday, it is well past noon and I have a glass of chianti now.

Can the world get much weirder? I have too much time on my hands and, after an earlier post on Lynda Carter, I went wandering around the world of the muppets. I always liked fozzie. He was a washed up, desperate old orange bear with a purple nose. I'm sure I've seen him round a criminal set at Gray's Inn doing the Magistrates and coroners courts.

However, I have lately been compared affectionately by various lovely women to Elmo. Arched eyebrows over their deep eyes have turned my head. Elmo is a child-minded red furred monster who keeps getting embraced by said women. Some of them even sleep with Elmo dolls. Right, said I, I'm having a look at that.

It turns out that Elmo has testified before the US congress--I am not joking, here is the link. The company that George Galloway keeps. Can you imagine what would have happened if Senator Norm Coleman had got his witnesses mixed up?

But it's not all honours and assistance to the legislative process for Elmo, even though a fake first lady has felt him up. An Elmo doll has been accused of attempting to convince children, by name, to commit suicide by an American mother from Florida.

I'm not making a bad character reference, but Elmo does have form on this. His audio book "Potty Time With Elmo" has been heard by Americans to ask if people want to die, for instance. Imagine if President Ahmedinajad or, say, the Koran had said that. Or, for example, affiliates of the Muslim Council of Great Britain.

I'm sure that can all agree that most of the left would say any distortions or misunderstandings arising from such actions would be Israel's fault. Thankfully, Sir Iqbal Sacranie has only ever attempted to explain rather than justify islamist violence, so that's alright then.

Elmo has appeared on adult chat shows, such as the View, and was a regular side kick of Rosie O'Donnell, who is no stranger to adult controversy. Still, in a sinister clandestine development, Elmo is brazening out the allegations at his 'Elmo's World site here choosing not to answer any allegation at all but rather to concentrate on his favourite colour.

What God hath wrought--and shown on the internet. The exhilarating republic of Barnum never went away, you know, and now the world-wide web proves it. Perhaps I should properly blame St Isidore of Seville, since the internet is his shout and that of his order.

That's odd. There's a Spanish theme developing. Here is Elmo getting sung to sleep by a gorgeous opera singer, from whose heaving chest and coffee marbled swan like throat is emerging the Bizet Toreador tune. There is no suggestion that she actually is an amorous Spanish gypsy, but there are a load of farmyard animals in the bedroom. You lucky little Elmo.

The picture at the top of this blog is of Galli-Marie, the original performer of the Carmen role in Bizet's opera.

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