Skip to main content
An Application for the Post of Boss of Potery at Oxford

(The following instruction sheet has reached me from an old friend. I of course do not endorse any of the views contained therein.)


Ahemem, (lots of throat clearing)

As being that I notice that the post of Porety Professor as been mayde vaycant, becorse someone as drawn it to may attenshun. I am usually above that sort of thing, unlike my opponents who are (insert vice of choice here) which is a danger to (insert group or category) who are to be found in (insert innocent obscure college round the back of argos stores). Twist. Ay would like to put mayself forward on account of all those voices Ay ear arsking me.

Since I am declaiming from a secret mountain hideout in Manhattan (on a good day you can see Toronto), all I can do is (push buttons about Iraq, former colonial races, Israel, Jews in general, charities, the United Nations, Catholics, God, men, marriage or some defining value free construct that allows a matrix of deviance accompanied by chin stroking distinction in the delivery of mediocre relativist consensus here).

Consequently and reluctantly I submit myself to the democracy unlike (my famous relative/slave/oppressed/aristocratic ancestor) and those grasping government types. If you want ovaries, Ay'll get some. Ay am, (false estuarine accent and limited vocabulary, assume dreadlocks like your 'mentally challenged' child here) a green liberal poof.

Pretend you don't know the details of the election and nip off for an absinthe stage right. Put this tape on, and relax with a nice bit of Rudyard Kipling and a cigar hidden in a Heidegger book.

Macdonaldus Senex fundum habet.
E-I-E-I-O.
Et in hoc fundo , nonnullas boves domesticas habet.
E-I-E-I-O.
Cum moo moo hic,
Cum moo moo ibi.
Hic una moo,
ibi una moo,
ubique una moo moo
Macdonaldus Senex fundum habet
E-I-E-I-O
Non Posso audere. Musa Sapientum in oreillum.

Here are some pictures of the common people of the west country at their play. The play is The Wicker Man.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Congressional Healthcare Bill in America I spent a good deal of this morning and yesterday reading over the proposed American healthcare bill (or at least, a compound version; there appear to be five doing the rounds). I don't want to blog on the details of it immediately. It's also a bill, which may well stall in the Senate or be overtaken by events, and which could yet be critically amended. It is the product of Congress, not the administration per se, and the lawyers have not yet got at it. I had some instant worries about it though. In no particular order, I'll list them; Firstly, it can't allow individuals to choose their doctor and treatment in the long run; instead, it will practically formalise the role of doctors as salaried employees of large medical groups. Sarah Palin is onto something with the idea that this will then allow essentially ideological or non-medical outlooks on, say, euthanasia, abortion, transgender issues, or non-emergency treatments of c...
6 comments
Read more
William Orpen There are four major Christian traditions, which are of course Catholic, Orthodox, Armenian and Coptic. Some sects and cults also exist, like the Moonies or Anglicanism. Yet in some bizarre way this weekend, protestant contributions to something other than the seizure of churches have been making their way into my consciousness. I suppose that the first indication of this trend was a reflection in an old copy of Gibbon that he actually became cultured because of Calvinism. Packed off to Switzerland because he went Catholic at an otherwise boring Oxford, Gibbon fell in love with Suzanne Cuchod, and with Greek because of instruction from a Calvinist mentor. It's an odd thing--I keep coming across indications of Calvinists who could have fun, though they doubtless thought that they would pay for it later, and whose political intelligence was second to none. Althusius springs to mind, for instance. But then what am I thinking, I thought to myself? I've sat on balconi...
11 comments
Read more
Damon Buffini I'm not quite sure what to make of this story. Damon Buffini, a multi-millionaire in the City, and a very accomplished man, seems to have heard staff he regarded as lazy and ungrateful at the upper levels of management complaining about restaurants. He subsequently forced them all to eat two-day old Big Macs whilst reminding them of how lucky they are. It's nice to know that Saturn--in the form of a sort of globalisation guevara--could force his children to eat rather than devouring them, as in Goya's painting. How broken do people have to be not to walk out, though? I guess from his point of view, if they had any spine they'd be in business on their own. The whole thing is horribly fascinating.
Post a Comment
Read more